Ah, my brain. There you are.

[callunav]

So odd. When my car slid off the road, I didn't even realize it at first, and then - possibly because everything was happening so slowly (truly slowly, not shocky slowly) - I never got seriously scared. I was alarmed when I realized I was heading toward the retaining wall and relieved when I didn't hit it, and exasperated through the process of trying to get it out. Standing around in the cold while AAA helped me out was surprisingly pleasant. I came back inside and called work, and posted about it feeling, if anything, rather good-humored, as I said.

After that, I settled in for an involuntarily cozy morning, continuing to feel pretty placid, which is rare for me and much enjoyed.

An hour or two later, I had a brief conversation about the condition of the roads with Julian and about 90 seconds after that, discovered that I was in a full-blown panic.


Ah, dissociation, my old friend. In this case, highly adaptive.


I am having tea.

Comments

[quiara]

I somehow missed this post in my December depression/malaise. I hope you are doing well. In the new year, I came out of my funk (mostly) and have begun hyperfocus on all things wooly, frkm knitting to spinning to weaving. It’s helped. I hope things have been going well for you and Julian in 2020.