Good things.
Sep. 5th, 2019 08:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
callunavI am happy because--
- my dollhouse came and I set it up yesterday, and it is exactly what I hoped it would be.
- I got email from HR saying I'm cleared to start work on Monday, so my backbrain can start believing that I'm actually going to be working soon.
- I found crochet thread and a lace square pattern that will work for me to make a bedspread.
Re: the dollhouse, I'm leaving out almost all the tiny fiddly objects that would delight the soul of someone who really wanted to play with a dollhouse because they are actually obstructive for playing with dolls. And for similar reasons and also because I'll need to be able to move it around, I'm going to be sticking most of the major furniture items to the floor.
I have a children's bedroom, a quasi-parental bedroom, an eat-in kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom. I worked hard to arrange things so that I could have a bathroom. I'm mostly convinced of the necessity because the last time I had an office with dolls and a doll house, the kid who did the most amazing therapeutic work (and didn't, of course, know she was working) with them a couple times had one sister lock herself in the bathroom and refuse to let the other one use it, leading to lots of arguing and distress. Even though this doll house's bathroom doesn't actually have a third wall, let alone a fourth, in reality, the bathroom is often the one place you can have some privacy, especially in a cramped or overfull apartment.
Re: work, I think my backbrain is actually absorbing the idea, because I had a nearly normal* dream about starting work, except it turned out to be a place I had actually worked in the past (in the dream - it doesn't exist in reality, though I had to spend some time after I woke reviewing the facts to be sure of that), which I hadn't expected, and made everything surreal. But still.
Re: crochet pattern, I struggle with liking to crochet but not having many things I actually want to make. I like lace-making, but the 1.5mm hook is even harder on my hands than the larger ones, even with the ergonomic handle, and it's such slow going. But with size 3 'thread' (it's honestly more like a very thin cord), I can make something that works like lace, rather than working like a sweater or a winter scarf, which goes very quickly and is very satisfying. And I can do small bursts of work at a time, which my hands appreciate, though they'd appreciate it more if I consistently A: did my exercises and B: iced them after crocheting.
Being happy doesn't mean I'm not anxious, because anxiety is pretty much my ground state these days. It's like the way something can be very sweet and very sour at the same time. But being happy is nice, and I appreciate it a lot.
* Normally, I have the most banal dreams imaginable, or at least those are the only ones I remember. I dream about making breakfast the way I always do, things like that. The one variation worthy of note is that I quite often have anti-anxiety dreams. Instead of dreaming that I'm showing up to work naked or whatever, I dream that I've found something I was stressing about losing during the day, or that I do actually have a conversation I've been dreading and it goes surprisingly well. It's great, because I feel so relieved in the dream. And it sucks because I wake up still feeling relieved, until later in the day when I suddenly realize that it wasn't true after all.
- my dollhouse came and I set it up yesterday, and it is exactly what I hoped it would be.
- I got email from HR saying I'm cleared to start work on Monday, so my backbrain can start believing that I'm actually going to be working soon.
- I found crochet thread and a lace square pattern that will work for me to make a bedspread.
Re: the dollhouse, I'm leaving out almost all the tiny fiddly objects that would delight the soul of someone who really wanted to play with a dollhouse because they are actually obstructive for playing with dolls. And for similar reasons and also because I'll need to be able to move it around, I'm going to be sticking most of the major furniture items to the floor.
I have a children's bedroom, a quasi-parental bedroom, an eat-in kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom. I worked hard to arrange things so that I could have a bathroom. I'm mostly convinced of the necessity because the last time I had an office with dolls and a doll house, the kid who did the most amazing therapeutic work (and didn't, of course, know she was working) with them a couple times had one sister lock herself in the bathroom and refuse to let the other one use it, leading to lots of arguing and distress. Even though this doll house's bathroom doesn't actually have a third wall, let alone a fourth, in reality, the bathroom is often the one place you can have some privacy, especially in a cramped or overfull apartment.
Re: work, I think my backbrain is actually absorbing the idea, because I had a nearly normal* dream about starting work, except it turned out to be a place I had actually worked in the past (in the dream - it doesn't exist in reality, though I had to spend some time after I woke reviewing the facts to be sure of that), which I hadn't expected, and made everything surreal. But still.
Re: crochet pattern, I struggle with liking to crochet but not having many things I actually want to make. I like lace-making, but the 1.5mm hook is even harder on my hands than the larger ones, even with the ergonomic handle, and it's such slow going. But with size 3 'thread' (it's honestly more like a very thin cord), I can make something that works like lace, rather than working like a sweater or a winter scarf, which goes very quickly and is very satisfying. And I can do small bursts of work at a time, which my hands appreciate, though they'd appreciate it more if I consistently A: did my exercises and B: iced them after crocheting.
Being happy doesn't mean I'm not anxious, because anxiety is pretty much my ground state these days. It's like the way something can be very sweet and very sour at the same time. But being happy is nice, and I appreciate it a lot.
* Normally, I have the most banal dreams imaginable, or at least those are the only ones I remember. I dream about making breakfast the way I always do, things like that. The one variation worthy of note is that I quite often have anti-anxiety dreams. Instead of dreaming that I'm showing up to work naked or whatever, I dream that I've found something I was stressing about losing during the day, or that I do actually have a conversation I've been dreading and it goes surprisingly well. It's great, because I feel so relieved in the dream. And it sucks because I wake up still feeling relieved, until later in the day when I suddenly realize that it wasn't true after all.